DMV agent: That was some test! Your parallel parking is great and you kept your speed under the limit. But you ran one stop sign and made an illegal left turn. I can't give you a drivers license.
Student: But I really need my license! Without it, I can't drive to my after-school job.
DMV agent: OK, tell you what. If you write me a 2-page essay on Henry Ford and the Model T (as extra credit), I'll give you a driver's license...
Coach (to kicker): Field goals are important to this team! Practice kicking field goals against that wall.
Kicker: Shouldn't I practice kicking through the uprights on the field?
Coach: No, that would be teaching to the test. That's cheating.
Law school graduate: I didn't pass the bar exam on my first try.
World: You can never be a lawyer. Try another profession.
My daughter: I missed the train into the city. What should I do?
Me: There will never be another train, so I guess you'll never be able to go to the city.
Boss: Betty, your work is outstanding! But you've never volunteered to do a skit at the annual company party or compete in the 3-legged race. So I'm giving the promotion to Rhonda.
Betty: What??
